First Psychology blog

We see many clients who come to us seeking psychological support to help them give up smoking. We all know smoking is bad for our health and many smokers who want to quit start off well. However as tobacco is highly addictive, even people with the strongest desire to give up can find it hard to kick the habit once the withdrawal symptoms begin. This is not a weakness in them, it just demonstrates how addictive smoking really is. Despite the difficulties people experience when trying to kick the habit, there are a number of things that can increase your chances of success including support. This month has been renamed 'stoptober' to mark a campaign to get people off cigarettes for the month. It's not too late to join the hundreds of thousands of people who are taking part in the challenge. Sign up today and get your free support pack with lots of tools to help you along the way. See https://stoptober.smokefree.nhs.uk for more details.

This fascinating conference will take place in the historic city of Edinburgh. Why not extend your stay and take in some of Edinburgh's many tourist attractions? If you work in the field of mental health you will understand how important it is to look after yourself. However, despite knowing this, you may find that you spend so much time and energy helping others that thinking about your own wellbeing gets pushed to the back of the queue. Self-Care Conference Our 'National Conference on Wellbeing and Self-Care for Mental Health Professionals' will focus on this vital topic, highlighting various aspects relevant to mental health professionals and other allied health workers. It offers a professional forum to explore the personal and professional challenges of self-care in this unique and challenging working environment. Fantastic speakers and conference programme We are delighted to have lined up a fantastic group of expert ...

If the very thought of the school holidays fills you with dread then read on for some survival tips from our psychologists. 1. Make a plan: what do you need to do to have a great holiday? Try to plan ahead and look at options that allow you to spend time together, but also give the kids a chance to spend time with other kids. Include your kids in the planning stage by asking for their thoughts and integrating them into the family plans. And remember to have some rainy day options up your sleeve! Create a routine: during the school year, our days are highly structured. The holidays are a good time to loosen these routines and generally slow down, however both you and your kids will benefit from some kind of structure such as set play times and meal times. Spontaneity is great, but without any structure at all, kids can feel a bit lost and bored. Build up a support network: check with the kids’ school or nursery for a holiday programme. Community centres also sometimes offer activit...

Recent figures hit the headlines that younger children than ever are becoming weight conscious. A study at Essex University found a startling one in 17 children are too thin, with 6% now being classified as underweight. It’s been claimed that these children are being missed because of society’s obsession with tackling obesity. However, being underweight can also cause a variety of health problems such as a lack of energy, weakened immune system and delayed development. Eating disorders most commonly occur in 14-19 year old teenage girls, but clinicians are diagnosing younger and younger children and many more boys, so it is a problem that parents should be aware of. But how can we help our children feel better about their weight when there is so much pressure from society to be thin? Numerous studies have shown links between exposure to thin bodies and a desire to lose weight. So be careful about leaving fashion magazines around the house. However, the media isn’t the only problem as p...

Recent statistics found that a shocking one in six couples have trouble conceiving, making it an issue that affects many of our lives. Our fertility is influenced by factors such as age, hormonal disorders, smoking, alcohol, stress, sexually transmitted infections, unhealthy body weight or even just bad timing. No matter the cause, it is normal to feel a monumental sense of loss, guilt and sadness if you are struggling to conceive. However, there are certain things you can do to overcome this overwhelming flood of emotions…. Resist the urge to blame yourself. It is easy to feel a sense of failure and guilt but no matter what the cause of your problems they will not be solved through placing blame. Focus on the solution rather than the problem.  Face and accept your emotions. Trying to bury your head in the sand will only prolong the pain.  Work through this time with your partner, but this does not mean you should be feeling the same things at the same time. Understand that...

Deciding a relationship is over is one of the hardest things to do. You may feel torn, remembering once happy times while also feeling sad about how things are at present. In addition, when children and shared assets are involved, things can be very complicated.  Unfortunately, there is no sure way to tell your relationship is over and no-one can make that decision but you, however the following questions may help you decide whether you want to put in the effort to make things better or end the relationship and move on. 1. Ask yourself, in your heart of hearts, is your partner the right person for you? 2. Does your partner make you a better person? 3. Are you afraid of losing your partner more than you're afraid of the break-up process. 4. Think about why you fell in love with your partner in the first place, are those reasons still enough? 5. Imagine yourself in ten years' time, do you see your partner with you? 6. Again, imagine your future self, do you think you would reg...

May is national walking month, and with the weather finally improving it is the perfect excuse to get outside and sneak some exercise into your daily routine.  Research shows that walking 8,000 steps a day significantly improves your health, not just in the short-term. In the long term walking reduces risk of long-term conditions such as heart disease, colon cancer, osteoarthritis, hip fracture and even mental illnesses such as depression and dementia. There’s no need to make huge life changes to reap the benefits of walking and exercise, here are our hints and tips to squeeze exercise into our increasingly busy lives… Walk to work, the longer days and better weather make this all the more possible. If you live too far to walk try getting off the bus a couple of stops early or park further away from work.  Invest in a shopping trolley and do your food shopping locally rather than driving to a super store.  Walk with friends, family or your dog. Not only will this ma...

Last week we discussed how to build confidence in children, but what about our own? Many of us find our confidence is put to the greatest test when giving a presentation.  If you've been asked to give a presentation or speech, perhaps for a wedding, work, end of term show, etc you may feel very daunted by the prospect. However, this doesn’t have to be a daunting experience, but rather an opportunity to entertain, showcase your leadership skills or build your career. Below are some tips to help you give your best possible presentation. Studies have shown our emotions aren’t as visible to others as we think, so don’t panic that everyone will know how nervous you are. Plan ahead so you feel in control of things and to help prevent last minute panics. Be careful not to memorise a speech word for word. If you forget one word or phrase it will throw you off completely and will seem much less authentic too. Instead, write down some key headings and points and practise what you want...

From infancy to adulthood children face a range of changes and potential problems along the way. While we can't step in and live their lives for them, we can arm them with the tools they need to contend with each stage of their lives. Helping to build confidence in children is a great way to help your child cope with the ups and downs of childhood. Confidence can help a younger child manage the friendship problems they commonly experience, as well as helping children of all ages deal with sibling rivalry, problems with schoolwork and bullying, among other issues. A confident child is more resilient to the fluctuations of life. They will not take things personally or blame themselves for things that are not their fault and can therefore find it easier to deal with the sorts of issues that crop up in childhood and adolescence. Want to learn to build confidence in children? First Psychology Scotland is running two FREE events this spring aimed at parents and educators of chil...

Tuesday 2 April was World Autism Day and although this date has passed, it is never too late to raise awareness. It is estimated that autism spectrum conditions (including Aspergers syndrome and other persuasive developmental disorders) occur in 1-2% of the population. As a parent you never want to believe that your child may have such difficulties but it is important to get an early diagnosis as the younger the child the greater the impact of treatment. The signs and symptoms of autism vary according to the individual. However children with autism spectrum conditions have problems in the following areas: Problems with social interaction. This includes non-verbal communication behaviour such as eye contact impairments, abnormal development of peer relationships, a lack of spontaneous seeking to share enjoyment, and a lack of emotional or social reciprocity.  Impairments in communication. This includes marked impairments in the development of language and conversation skills, repe...

Growing up in a relaxed and happy environment can reduce anxiety levels in children. However, perhaps family life is not as perfect as we’d like it to be. Psychologists have long argued that our relationships with family members have an enormous impact on our well-being. It is therefore crucial to put both time and effort into them in order to make them as strong as they can be. Here are some tips to help create happy families. Fun. Have fun together. It can be easy to dismiss activities as 'something for the kids' while you just sit and watch, but having fun and laughing together is a crucial bonding experience. Get involved with the kids and don’t be afraid to be silly.  Allow free communication. This does not include talking about mundane daily topics, but discussing real issues that matter to your family. If you provide an open environment where your children are encouraged to communicate freely about their opinions and lives, they will be more likely to come to you i...

It’s almost been three months since we set our New Years resolutions and many of us may have already slipped. One resolution that is particularly hard to keep is weight loss - especially with all the tempting Easter eggs filling the shelves! However, don’t give up, it is not too late to lose weight. Here are our top tips to conquer your weight demons and accomplish your goals: Many of us eat because we have a deep emotional attachment to food. If you're feeling stressed or sad don’t be tempted to grab the ice cream, instead go for a walk or call a friend.  Studies have shown that couples tend to have similar BMIs and eating habits. This does mean that losing weight as a couple is much more effective than going it alone so encourage your partner to join you. However, be careful not to force or guilt them into it because this will only lead to resentment.  Keeping a food diary helps you realise how much you actually eat. You’ll be surprised how the little snacks add up. ...

Infidelity is when a partner breaks the expectations of exclusivity upheld by the relationship. However, what constitutes 'cheating' varies between cultures and types of relationships and is not necessarily physical. Figures suggest that roughly 30-40% of those in a marriage or a long-term relationship break these expectations at some point, and so is a something many of us will deal with. Immediately after the affair you are likely to feel hurt, angry and betrayed. It may seem like you'll never get past it, and many may not want to try. However, if you want to continue with the relationship here are some tips that may help get you through. Be prepared! Deciding to stay with your partner is only the first step. Make sure you are both prepared to work hard and fight for the relationship.  Take some time off or get away for a few days. This time and space can give you clarity to figure out what you truly want.  Understand the cause of the affair. Although, there is no e...

Friday 13th March is approaching and as well as the usual superstitions, it is also 'No Smoking Day'  - a fantastic opportunity to finally kick the habit once and for all!  Overall, tobacco smoking is estimated to be responsible for more than a quarter of cancer related deaths in the UK, that’s over 100, 000 deaths a year. Furthermore, the average smoker will spend more than £2700 a year on cigarettes. The dangers and costs of smoking are well publicised, but despite the facts, it can still be a huge struggle to quit. However, other people have successfully quit before you - follow these tips to get one step closer to completing the challenge. Don’t keep putting it off. Plan to quit on the 13th March and do it!  Studies have shown combining medicine with social support is the most successful method for quitting. So, get prepared before the big day. Talk to your pharmacist or GP about possible nicotine replacement therapies and let your friends and family know you're ...

Today is 'self-injury awareness day' which aims to bring attention to the issue of self-harm. Tackling the issue today could be the first step in stopping someone, or yourself, self-harming for good. Self-harming is when somebody deliberately hurts themselves (through cutting, bruising, burning or other methods) in order to help deal with any emotional pain they might be experiencing. We often associate it with teenage girls, but it occurs in men and women of all ages and the UK has the one of the highest self-harm rates in Europe. For many, it is a way to release emotions when they are feeling numb and can be an immense relief, but the behaviour can quickly become addictive and in the long term causes a great deal of psychological trauma. Many people wrongly believe those who self-harm are trying to get attention, but in fact most people desperately try to hide their behaviour. However there are crucial signs to look out for if you suspect a loved one may be self-harming, alth...

During the courting stage of a relationship we are often impressed when our partner flashes the cash. However, this can quickly change as responsibilities grow and our finances become shared. Money troubles can create extreme stress in a relationship and, in the current economic climate, they are becoming an increasingly common cause of divorce. The key to dealing with money troubles is honesty. Trying to hide your spending will not solve the problem, but will result in your partner feeling betrayed. Talk openly with them and explain exactly how much money has gone. Anger may be your automatic reaction if your partner has overspent, but try and remain calm so you can work together to find a solution. If you earn significantly more than your partner it can be easy to blame them for any financial troubles. But it is very important not to use money as a weapon. If you have agreed to share your finances then you must not regard money as 'mine' or 'yours'. Ensure you both fu...

At some point in our lives we all deal with rejection. Even if we’re smart, beautiful or funny, rejection hits us hard, especially when it comes from those closest to us. Despite the hurt we may feel immediately, rejection doesn’t need to stop us in our tracks. Whether you feel rejected from your partner, a job or a friend you can use the pain as an opportunity to grow stronger by following this advice. Think about the positives. The most important thing to do is not measure your worth against the opinions of others. Instead think about your achievements and all the people that do care about you rather than focussing on the negatives.  Think of reasons behind the rejection. Understanding that it wasn’t personal can be a big help in moving on.  Look to the future. Despite what fairy tales led us to believe growing up, it takes time to find 'the one'. If someone you thought you had a future with has rejected you then they were probably not your perfect partner! Try to view t...

Valentine’s Day is fast approaching and it may seem as if we are surrounded by inflatable hearts and smug couples. The 14th of February is a day to celebrate love with our partner. However, for many couples it can shine an all too harsh (albeit red hued) light on a broken relationship. The biggest problems couples face can be the result of poor communication and so in order to have a great Valentine’s day and improve your relationship follow these simple tips. Discuss issues before they turn into problems. Many issues are not discussed until they suddenly become overwhelming and may be unresolvable. It is therefore very important to calmly discuss problems when they first arise in order to stop them spiralling out of control.  Share your views. We are sociable beings and enjoy talking about our feelings, hopes and aspirations but if our partner is unwilling to listen or share their own thoughts it can become frustrating. Set aside time to talk and agree not to be critical of one ...

Today is 'Feel Good Friday'! Organised by the Samaritans the aim is to fundraise while having fun with your co-workers. While it may be too late to organise a big event, it is certainly still possible to do something fun with your colleagues. Studies have shown that workplace friendships generally improve productivity and office morale. While it is important to remain professional, knowing you have emotional support from someone going through the same struggles can help you cope with the stresses of work. Additionally, office friendships provide practical support by sharing knowledge and helping one another with the workload. It is clearly important to establish and maintain healthy relationships at work, both for personal and professional support. Inspired by 'Feel Good Friday' here are our top tips to boost office morale: Organise a 'dress down Friday'. This can make co-workers more relaxed and give an insight into their personality. You could even make it s...

It is estimated that 5% of people attempt suicide at least once in their lives, and 1 million people succeed every year, that’s more than from war and murder combined. If one of these people is someone you know and love, it is a very hard thing to deal with. The emotions are often different from other types of bereavement and can cause feelings on top of the usual grieving process. Many people feel a strong sense of abandonment and guilt, but you have to let these feelings go or they will consume you. Following these guidelines should be the first step to accepting the death of your loved one.  Record you emotions in writing. This can help you process what your feelings and help you let go of any of the anger and guilt.  Set time to grieve. Don’t try and carry on as normal, you must deal with your emotions.  Look after yourself, eat well and exercise. This will help you feel better and make it easier to sleep.  Don’t feel guilty. Talking to someone with a real...

At this time of year when we tend to look to the future and the shops are suddenly brimming with Valentine's gifts, it may be hard to face the fact that a relationship has ended badly. When you are not well matched a relationship is likely to end badly. However, if you keep picking the wrong partners it can leave you feeling helpless and alone. Firstly, ask yourself these questions to see whether you keep dating the wrong people. Do the same problems keep arising in each of your relationships?  Do you attract partners that need your help in some way? Are you trying to fix them?  Are you unable to be yourself in your relationships?  Do you spend a lot of time trying to please your partner at the expense of your own happiness?  Do you always behave in the same negative ways? (I.e. become jealous, over critical)  Make a list of characteristics of the people you have dated. Are these really the types of people you wish to end up with?  If you an...

It’s the beginning of a New Year and we all want 2013 to bring us something exciting. Whether you wish to get in touch with old friends, look for a new job or are looking for love, social networking is a good first step. Fortunately modern technology means you can now do this from your sofa! According to recent statistics, 59% of us are now using some form of social networking. Whether it's Facebook, Twitter, MySpace or LinkedIn, social networking is a powerful tool to help you manage and expand both your personal and professional life. It is therefore crucial to portray yourself in a positive way. Here are some hints and tips to becoming social networking savvy. Unfortunately, it is impossible to separate your professional and personal life on the Internet. One simple Google search and your boss could see photos of you dancing on the desk at last year's Christmas party… so be very careful what you upload.  Show off your personality. There is no point trying to portray so...

So you’ve set your 2013 resolutions, but now for the hardest part… keeping them. Evidence has shown that 40% of us give up our resolutions by the end of January. but if you follow this simple advice you can make 2013 a year for real change. Put your resolutions in writing. Studies have shown that writing down your intentions improves your chances of sticking to them.  Have a role model.  Find someone who has achieved what you want to achieve. Whether they are a celebrity or a friend, knowing that someone else has done it can give you the confidence to do it too.  Pinpoint potential obstacles. Figure out a plan beforehand so you are prepared to tackle the situation. For example if you are going for dinner but are trying to diet, have a healthy snack beforehand so you aren’t so tempted to have a huge meal.  Believe in yourself! As long as you have set yourself manageable goals you are more than capable of achieving them.  Do it with a friend. Going through th...