Coping with fertility problems

Recent statistics found that a shocking one in six couples have trouble conceiving, making it an issue that affects many of our lives. Our fertility is influenced by factors such as age, hormonal disorders, smoking, alcohol, stress, sexually transmitted infections, unhealthy body weight or even just bad timing. No matter the cause, it is normal to feel a monumental sense of loss, guilt and sadness if you are struggling to conceive. However, there are certain things you can do to overcome this overwhelming flood of emotions….

• Resist the urge to blame yourself. It is easy to feel a sense of failure and guilt but no matter what the cause of your problems they will not be solved through placing blame. Focus on the solution rather than the problem. 
• Face and accept your emotions. Trying to bury your head in the sand will only prolong the pain. 
• Work through this time with your partner, but this does not mean you should be feeling the same things at the same time. Understand that you may be experiencing different processes and dealing with your issues in different ways. 
• Communicate with your partner and pay attention to what your partner is thinking. Overcoming these problems together can help make your relationship stronger. 
• Gain control of the situation by educating yourself. Read, speak to doctors and make use of online forums to chat with couples in similar situations. 
• Give yourself permission to say no to baby-focused activities such as Christenings if you feel it would be too difficult. 
• Pursue other interests. It may be difficult, but making your life baby focused will make it even tougher. 
• If you’ve made decisions such as abortions in the past, don’t dwell on them. It is important to concentrate on your future. 
• Friends and family can sometimes find it difficult to empathise, and it can be infuriating to keep hearing things like “Just relax and you’ll get pregnant”. Use the internet to make contact with others who will understand what you're going through. 
• Counselling shouldn’t be seen as a sign you’re not coping, it is perfectly normal for you to want a chance to talk. 

If you are having trouble conceiving, remember there are other options available. Communicate with your partner and doctors to discuss your future and remind yourself of the areas of your life that you have been more fortunate in.