First Psychology blog

There are only a few hours left of 2014 and at this time of year people traditionally review the outgoing year and think about things they'd like to achieve/ improve in the incoming year. It can be easy to get carried away and set unrealistic goals that are almost impossible to keep. Statistics show that only 12% of us actually stick to our New Year's resolutions. "Setting realistic, achievable goals is the key to success", says First Psychology's Professor Ewan Gillon. Here are some of Ewan's top tips to setting achievable goals for 2015. Start small and build up. Make sure you don't get carried away. Promising yourself that you will do 5 exercise sessions a week when you currently do none is not realistic. Start smaller, perhaps set yourself a goal of walking to work or going for a run at weekends. As you gain fitness and adjust to the new regime, you can add more sessions in. Setting realistic goals helps you remain positive and will keep you on track...

The winter holidays are a time that many of us choose to spend with family and friends. Films and media portray this period as a happy time full of fun, presents and goodness, but for many people who have lost someone dear to them, it can be a difficult time, full of painful memories. Whatever the circumstances, if you're struggling with the loss of someone dear to you, Christmas can be an unwelcome reminder that they're not here any more. Grief is a complex emotion and it can take years to come to terms with it. The five stages of grief The process of mourning and grief is one that people go through no matter who they are or what they do in life. However everybody experiences grief differently. There are five stages of grief and loss, which were first proposed in 1969 by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in her book "On Death and Dying". It can take a short or long time to work through loss and each stage may not be experienced in order, indeed you may move back and forth b...

Today is what has historically been known in the UK as Black Friday / Mad Friday / Black eye Friday or Nasty Friday. It is the last Friday before Christmas and the most popular night for the office Christmas party, which makes it a busy night for the emergency services, hence its name. The work night out is a good opportunity to get to know your colleagues socially, so if you have a work night out tonight, then read our tips for happy partying: Ten tips for happy partying Don't leave it too late: get there early so you don't have to walk into a room full of people. Whether you know the people or not, it can be daunting walking into a room when a party is in full swing. Create a good first impression: when meeting new people remember to smile and make eye contact.  Ask people about themselves: everyone loves talking about themselves, so create a good impression by taking an interest in others. The more you ask people about themselves, the more likely you are to f...

At this time of year there can be lots of social events to attend: with carol singing; work night outs; entertaining clients; and parent get-togethers among other things, we can start to feel a bit worn out. But if the thought of interacting with others fills you with panic or dread, then it may be that you're socially anxious. Shyness and social anxiety affect most people at some point. Often unusual events such as having to give an important speech, going on a first date, going to university for the first time and having to meet a group of new people can trigger feelings of anxiety. However these feeling usually fade. When you are continually affected by your interactions with other people, it is likely you are suffering from social anxiety/phobia. What is social anxiety/phobia? Social anxiety is the third most common form of psychological disorder. It is an extreme form of shyness that draws out feelings of being judged, not liked, or inferior to others. As a result, those ...

If you notice a downturn in your mood over the winter months - particularly from December to February, then it may be that you need to get outside more and take in more daylight.  During the winter months when the weather is cold, we often stay indoors more. This means that we also reduce the amount of natural daylight, fresh air and exercise we do. The result can be 'winter blues', the symptoms of which include loss of appetite, anxiety and lethargy.   Winter mood boosters TIP 1  Take up an outdoor hobby like gardening or an outdoor sport This will help relax your body while also increasing your exposure to daylight and fresh air.  TIP 2  Take some exercise Exercise is beneficial as it will boost your energy during the short winter days.  TIP 3  Eat healthy foods  Ensure your diet includes a wide variety of fresh fruit and vegetables for a valuable boost to your nutrition, energy and overall health during the winter m...

Before you head out to the shops today to see what the 'Black Friday' sales have to offer, have a think about your motives for shopping. Why do people spend? It's true that the holiday season is just around the corner and many of us will be looking to get gifts for loved ones, but necessity is not the only reason people spend.  Money is often associated with power and success. A study in the Journal of Consumer Research actually saw participants salivating at the concept of money when they were first primed to feel they lacked power.  People often believe money will make them more attractive, popular and successful to others. Conversely being in debt and not being able to spend makes people feel powerless and vulnerable. Indeed debt and mental health problems often go hand in hand. Spending is used by many as a form of therapy - it makes us feel better about ourselves. However this type of spending can become habitual as it feeds our deep psychological need...

There have been a number of high profile cases of domestic abuse against women in the press recently and as today is International Day of Elimination of Violence Against Women, we thought we'd talk a bit about domestic violence. It can be easy to think that victims of domestic abuse can simply leave the situation, however often domestic abuse starts some time into a relationship when an emotional attachment has been established. For women, it may begin at a time of vulnerability, such as during pregnancy, and the woman may feel she has no choice but to stay with her partner, hoping it is a one-off. Often there is a period following the abusive behaviour when the perpetrator apologises for their behaviour and promises never to do it again and the victim may want to give things another try, hoping it will get better. However, this pattern of behaviour can continue for years and the victim may slowly lose confidence and begin to believe she is somehow to blame.  Women often...

Our posts this week, for Anti-Bullying Week, have focused so far on bullying between children or adolescents. However, unfortunately bullying does not stop when we 'grow up' or leave school. Bullying happens among adults of all ages and in organisations of all sizes too. A report by the Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development (CIPD) states that between 83-90% of UK organisations have anti-bullying policies, yet bullying is still happening. So what constitutes bullying at work? Common bullying behaviours Being insulting: personally criticising someone or making them feel small by ridiculing, humiliating or making demeaning comments. Harassment: with-holding information; overloading someone with work; taking the credit for someone else's work; or removing responsibility from someone without discussing it with them first. Exclusion:  scapegoating, isolation or victimisation. Intimidation: threats of physical violence or psychological intimidation. Bull...

Bullying - and its modern relation cyber-bullying - are on the rise, with 45,000 children affected by it contacting ChildLine in the last year alone. Psychologist Professor Ewan Gillon, clinical director of First Psychology Scotland, explains the origins of bullying and how to deal with the effects on you or your family. (The following piece featured in the Dundee Courier on 17 November 2014) I have worked with many children and adults who have suffered at the hands of bullies. The word bullying describes any behaviour that is malicious, intimidating or offensive. It is intended to humiliate or even injure the person it’s aimed at, and sustained bullying over a period of time wears down mental resilience. The effects of bullying  People being bullied will often feel helpless and frustrated while gradually losing confidence in their abilities. They may experience physical symptoms such as sickness, sleeplessness and loss of appetite. Bullied children may feel anxious about goi...

Today is the start of anti-bullying week, so we thought it a good time to talk about the subject of bulling and the impact it can have. What is bullying? Bullying is the act of belittling someone repeatedly through harassment, physical harm, demeaning speech or efforts to ostracise them. Bullying can takes many forms. The three main types being physical bullying, verbal bullying and cyber bullying. Anyone can potentially fall prey to a bully. It can happen in pre-school, primary school, secondary school and in the workplace. However it is most prevalent in the mid-teen years when children move from primary to secondary school. Long-term bullying can lead to low self-esteem, lack of confidence, trust issues, anxiety and depression and these effects may be continue to be experienced in the future as well as the present. Knowing how to spot the signs in others - particularly young people, who may feel they have no voice - is an important step to making things better. Common signs...

Thanks to the 'Movember' Foundation, we don't just remember, remember the 5th of November, but men's health issues throughout November too. Men are often reluctant to seek help for a number of reasons, so when a man is feeling physically or mentally unwell, it is often a partner or a friend who persuades him to seek help - in many cases as a last resort. "Many of our male clients in particular have struggled for years before seeking help," said Professor Ewan Gillon, Clinical Director of First Psychology Scotland. A practising psychologist, Professor Gillon works with male and female clients in his personal clinics and takes a keen interest in how men seek help. "Us men are brought up to hide our feelings and be strong and it can be hard to admit needing support," he said. While not cultivating his own 'movember' moustache, Professor Gillon believes the Movember Foundation's aim to get men talking about their health and taking action is v...

According to recent studies,  bullying is becoming more widespread. The use of social media in every day life is one factor. Bullies are able to hide behind opaque identities online and can use these to target individuals. And whereas in the past malicious information may have taken a while to spread, with social media, information can spread fast leading to increased humiliation of the victim in a very public environment. The effects of bullying "The long-term consequences of bullying are considerable," says Professor Ewan Gillon, Clinical Director of First Psychology Scotland. "When young people are bullied, it can result in a life-time of anxiety in social situations. Adults who were bullied as children can find it hard to trust others." "Those who experience bullying often isolate themselves from others and this can add to feelings of depression and lack of control over the situation. Cyber bullying can be particularly bad because the victim may not ...

If you're currently revising for exams, you may be feeling worn out, stressed and fed up and you may be wondering if there is anything you can do to make things easier on yourself. If you're a parent, you may be wondering how to help your child do their best. We've put together some basic tips for pupils and parents: Tips for pupils  Strike a balance between work and rest: don’t try to work 24 hours a day, but make sure you revise a bit each day. Take regular breaks and have some exam-free time when you see friends or family. This will help you to work healthily, concentrate and retain information.  Pay attention to your basic needs: eat well and avoid caffeinated and fizzy drinks. Water is good. Sleep is very important too – you are more likely to perform well if you've had a good nights sleep than if you've stayed up all night cramming. Take time to unwind before you go to bed.  Keep things in perspective: your exams might feel like the most important thin...

In the press yesterday was news that Gwyneth Paltrow and her husband Chris Martin are to 'consciously uncouple'. By this they mean they will continue to remain friends and co-parent but hope to reduce all the emotions that commonly come with a separation – anger, sadness, and bitterness. Relationship difficulties and separations can be an extremely stressful and upsetting time for couples and families. Relationships are often complex things, particularly when there are children involved. Both partners have a shared love of the children and want to make things as pleasant as possible for them. Despite this, anger and bitterness can often lead to significant conflict during relationship difficulties and the children can get caught in the middle. But whether you have children or not, there are some common relationship issues that may lead you to feel unhappy in your relationship. Common relationship issues Arguing - couples can get 'trapped' in a cycle of arguin...

In our last blog we talked about anger and how the practice of mindfulness can be used to aid relaxation and bring about an increased feeling of calm and wellbeing, but what is mindfulness? Mindfulness is currently very popular and sometimes it seems you can't go far without reading about its benefits somewhere. However, mindfulness has actually been around a long time – indeed it has its roots in ancient eastern meditation practices. Mindfulness was introduced to modern healthcare by Dr Jon Kabat-Zinn. So what can mindfulness do for you? It is a natural process of the human mind to wander and make up stories or 'chatter'. However, what we often don't recognise is that these thoughts strongly affect our emotions. Despite being processes of our mind, we can get caught up with them and find ourselves feeling angry, upset, sad or jealous. Mindfulness practices work to inhibit negative thinking patterns and the over active limbic system that can occur when people are...

Anger gets a bad press, but we thought it worth explaining why we get angry and why anger isn't really so bad. Anger is a natural emotion and something we should all expect to feel from time to time. However, anger is often seen as a very negative emotion and one we should aim to quash.  Anger may be bad for us - but on the other hand it has its uses (The Guardian, 04/04/14) What is the purpose of anger? Anger is an emotion that kicks in when we feel violated in some way - it allows us to stick up for ourselves and in that respect it is a positive thing. Well then it's good to be angry isn't it? Despite its bad press, anger isn't a terrible thing, it has a very useful purpose. It fires us up and allows us to take action. Anger is our emotive response to something. However, our behavioural response to feeling angry, aggression, can be extremely damaging to relationships at home and work. Therefore in instances where aggressive behaviour in response to anger has b...

Today is Valentine's Day, a day when we traditionally celebrate the love we share with our partner by giving them tokens of our love - often in the shape of heart-shaped chocolates or red roses. But what if things aren't as rosy as you'd like? Keep talking Keep communicating with your partner and tell them how you feel. When you've been together for years it can be easy to assume that your partner can read your mind. Talk to them about your day, about things that are on your mind, and about your relationship - communication is the key to any successful relationship. Listen to your partner Make sure your partner gets a chance to speak about their experiences too. Listen carefully to what they have to say and take their concerns seriously. It may sound simple, but a common reason for conflict in a relationship is poor communication. Minimise arguments Try to avoid arguing at times when you may feel tired or stressed as things can escalate very quickly. G...

With valentine's day fast approaching our attentions often turn to matters of the heart, but what if you haven't met that special someone yet? Here are some top tips on finding your ideal partner. Spotting that special someone No matter where you are - looking online, at your local pub, or even just walking down the street - you need to know who you're looking for. Think about the qualities that matter to you and be really honest with yourself. Try and sort in your mind the qualities that are  'must-haves' and those that are desirable but not necessarily deal breakers. Shared values When you meet someone for the first time, there's no denying that first impressions count. We take just a few seconds to decide whether we're interested in someone or not. However, once things move on and become more serious, ask yourself if you and your partner have shared goals and values. Do you respect them? Partners who share similar values and have a mutual respect fo...

The winter weather coupled with a lack of daylight - not to mention sunshine - can leave us feeling as dark as the sky. We've put together some tips to help brighten your mood and put a spring in your step. 1. Change your routine - We're not talking about big changes, but the little things, such as going for a walk at lunchtime rather than sitting at your desk with a sandwich. When you feel that you're stuck in a rut and unable to change, the little things can help you regain control of the situation and lead to much bigger things in the longer term. 2. Take some exercise - The links between regular exercise and greater wellbeing are well documented. The important thing is to find something you like doing so you will continue to do it. 3. Phone a friend - If you're feeling low it is easy to shy away from social contact. However keeping in regular contact with people who care about you can be a great mood booster. 4. Watch what you eat - The mind and body work t...