The Importance of Friendships on Mental Health

There’s nothing quite as comforting as having a friend to spend time with, share memories with, and speak to in good times and in bad. Although spending time with friends can be fun, there is much more to friendships than social interaction but why exactly are they so important for your mental health?

What is a friend?

A friend is someone you want to share good news with, talk to in times of trouble, and confide in with personal aspects of your life. However, while for some people making friends is easy, for others it can be difficult. A lack of friends can lead to feelings of loneliness and self-confidence and over time, it can cause depression. Good friends can help you feel supported and respected and can also prevent loneliness.

Why can it be difficult to find friends?

You may have had close friends and drifted apart because life took you in different directions. Life changes such as marriage, children or career can put a strain on friendships especially if your friend feels they don’t fit into your lifestyle any longer. Likewise, if a friend has a child, they may not have as much time to socialise as they once did, or you may feel you don’t connect with them anymore as you can’t relate to this new part of their life. If a friend gets married or enters a serious relationship, they may spend more time with their partner and prioritise them rather than you.

Whether you had friends and no longer feel close to them, or you feel you don’t have any friends at all, it can have a negative impact on your mental health.

A lack of friendships can lead to:

• Low self-esteem. When you don’t have any friends, you may feel that you are unworthy of being loved.
• Being withdrawn. A person who doesn’t have meaningful friendships can become withdrawn from social, academic and workplace activities.
• Depression and suicidal thoughts. According to the NHS, young people who are struggling with friendships can feel worthless to the point of considering self-harm or suicide.

How can I make friends and maintain friendships?

It is inevitable that friendships change as people reach different milestones in their lives. Yet this doesn’t mean that friendships can’t be maintained. There can be periods when you won’t see a friend as often or you’ll need to accept that certain factors will change your friendship dynamic. Like any relationship, friendships can take work and so you may have to make a concerted effort to set aside time for friends. This can mean accepting that weekly nights out are a thing of the past with a friend who now has children, and that for a while your friendship will need to be conducted at home, over the phone or in child-friendly venues. If you feel a friend hasn’t been as present recently, tell them you’d love to see them more and put aside time to make it happen. Maintaining friendships sometimes means putting in more effort.

What if I can’t make friends?

If making friends is difficult, there are steps you can take to improve opportunities to find friends:

• Friendships can take time. Meeting someone new can be daunting, not only for you but for your potential new friend. They may not want to instantly meet up for coffee or to participate in activities with you and it may take time to trust in this new friendship. New friendships can begin with chatting on a regular basis be it at work or in a social environment and can be built up over time doing activities you both enjoy.
• Don’t be put off if a friendship doesn’t work out. Just because one friendship isn’t successful, doesn’t mean the next attempt won’t be.
• Take up a new hobby, class or sport. Meeting people with the same interests as you is a great way to find friends and by starting something new, you’ll also be having fun and broadening your experiences.
• Reach out to old friends. You may have fallen out with a friend over something trivial or simply lost touch over time. If there is someone you miss, consider getting in touch with them to rekindle your friendship.