First Psychology blog

Learning ways to relax your mind and body is vital to good mental and physical health and wellbeing. While short-term stress is a natural process designed to protect us from harm, longer-term stress can have a negative impact on our mental and physical wellbeing and lead to conditions such as anxiety and depression as well as physical conditions too. Why not have a go at our relaxation quiz and see if you know how to relax.  All the answers to these questions can be found in the  advice and resources section of our website > Relaxation quiz and competition 1. Which of the following is an example of immobile relaxation? A   Sleeping   B   Meditation 2. How do physical relaxation methods work? A   They occupy the mind so that it is temporarily relieved from stressors. B   They tire us out so that we're too tired to think about our worries. 3.  Which of the following is an example of physical relaxation? A   Tai chi ...

Those of the less sporty among us, may have distant memories of being made to run four laps around the school sports field as a warm up before embarking on the sport for the day. It's not surprising then that these memories may have been pushed to the backs of our minds - sport isn't for us and we are glad we no longer have to do it. But wait, are we throwing the baby out with the bath water? Can we learn lessons from sport that are useful in our lives more generally, and if so what are they? While many people struggle to manage pressure in their everyday lives and perhaps fail to achieve their goals as a result of this, elite sports people manage to achieve their goals despite the pressure. So what can we 'steal' from the way top athletes do things that we can use in our own lives? Five lessons we can learn from top sports people 1. Keep motivated if you have one specific goal to achieve, set yourself a range of related goals to keep you motivated along the way...

It’s the most wonderful time of the year – but for many of us, it’s also the time when we do lots of things for other people and can easily lose sight of what is good for us and our closest friends and family. As we are pulled in different directions and have many things to do, what is meant to be valuable family time can get railroaded, leaving us feeling stressed and short tempered. So what can we do to avoid Christmas burnout and ensure that we spend quality time with our nearest and dearest over the festive period? Set time aside to share At no other point in the year is a calendar more important than December. There are places to be, things to do and the demands on our time are all encompassing. Make sure that you schedule in quality time with your family. We don’t mean sat in front of the TV (though you can schedule time in for that too!). We really mean being mindful about how you spend your time together. Even in very close families, Christmas will mean different things for e...

It's World Television Day today… There’s no denying the fact that we all spend far more time staring at screens (and not just tv screens, but desktops, tablets, phones, and laptops too) than we ever used to; or that our children are growing up more reliant on screens than we would want them to be. It’s not just at home, either. Much of their school work is now completed online too. Technology does have its benefits. However, as individuals we all need to take care than we are not only aware of exactly how much time we spend interacting with screens, but also take the necessary steps to minimise any effects that excessive screen time has on our health, and our emotional wellbeing. There are definitely ways to protect our brain from too much stimulation - including spending more time outside and establishing a healthy sleep routine - this article from Psychology Today looks at them in more detail. But before we do that, it’s important that we are able to recognise the tell-tale si...

Times have changed. Years ago, while bullying existed in our schools and open spaces, home remained a safe-haven where children and young people could retreat and feel safe. Today, however, our children are not afforded this luxury. Bullying often continues long after the school day has ended and the challenge for parents is how we can best support our children when they’re going through a difficult time. Give them your time Having a non-judgmental, calm ear that they can talk to, whenever they feel the need, is the most important thing you can offer to your child when they’re being bullied. As a parent, your instinct will be to sort the problem out, to fix things. That is not what your child needs at first. Make it clear that you are there for them and encourage them to speak to you every day. Reassure them. Let them know that whatever they are going through is not their fault and that together you will sort it out. Give them an outlet When you have been bullied, you start to feel...

We find as we get older that friends will come and go throughout the various stages of our lives. Friendships are important for many reasons, not least the fact that they help us define our priorities and steer our thoughts and behaviours in a positive direction. Strong friendships can be formed in many different situations - we've completed a list that will help you build friendships that will last the course of time.  Be yourself  It can be easy to take on a more outgoing personality in order to try to make friends but people can see through this facade. The best way to make true friends is to be yourself so that the friends you make will like you for the right reasons. The easiest way to achieve this can be to meet over a shared activity as the pressure is off and your shared interest will make it easier to forge a friendship without trying too hard. Give and take Giving and taking is the key to friendships that stand the test of time. The best friendships will al...

Why is it that we all strive to be seen as strong? We hear it all the time: ‘He’s a strong man’; ‘She’s a strong woman’ – but just what is it about the human psyche that makes us regard our vulnerabilities as weaknesses? More generally, vulnerability is usually associated with uncertainty, which other people see as risky, and this leaves us feeling emotionally exposed. That’s why very often we mask our true feelings, or soldier on without seeking the support or guidance that we need to develop to our full potential. But perhaps now is the time to break the façade and show others our more vulnerable side? The more we talk about the issues we face, the more it becomes socially acceptable to show our authentic, vulnerable self. This will make it much easier for us to get the support we need. This has certainly been the case in the world of sport. A number of top sports people have spoken out recently about the struggles they have faced in the sporting world. While just as vulnerab...

With so much reliance on social media these days, it’s easy to lose sight of the benefits of the written word. And while blogging is growing in popularity – enabling people to share their deepest thoughts and ideas with the public at large – the self-awareness benefits of journaling could be in danger of being lost. Keeping a journal has long been recognised as a way of building a greater self-awareness and provides an excellent tool to help us practise gratitude, both of which contribute to us leading happy, fulfilling lives. The daily ritual of keeping a journal helps us maintain a mindful focus on the things we experience every day and encourages us to see our own lives through a different lens – enabling us to gain perspective in our otherwise hectic, busy lives. Daily writing in a journal – even just for a few minutes – really helps us concentrate on what’s important to us. It’s therapeutic, enabling us to appreciate the positives in the everyday and supporting us as we analyse an...

A recent study found that young people (age 16-24) feel loneliness more intensely and more often than any other age group. This might be surprising to many, as we often think of loneliness happening to us in old age. However, it has been suggested that the reason why this age group feels loneliness so intensely is because they are still finding out who they are. More generally loneliness can come about for a number of reasons – the death of somebody significant; moving to a new location and being separated from friends and family; divorce; or it can be a symptom of an underlying issue such as depression or low self-esteem.  Loneliness is a feeling of being alone in the world, irrespective of who’s around you. You may feel sad, misunderstood, out of the loop, and disconnected from the world. It is a state of mind which often leads people to crave company. The problem is that the mindset of loneliness often makes it harder to engage with others. Loneliness has been linked to a nu...

It’s October. The frivolity of Fresher’s week is over and college students all across Scotland are knuckling down to their studies. If you’re the parent of a young person who has just set off on their university adventure you may well be feeling a range of emotions, as the reality of their departure sets in. It’s common to feel at a bit of a loss when you eventually get the house back to yourself. Your home – once a noisy hub of activity – can seem very quiet and still once your children have moved on; and the relief and excitement of getting your space back can soon be replaced with boredom, loneliness and sadness if you don’t find meaningful ways of occupying your time. Empty nest syndrome is often described as a feeling of grief that people experience once their children have left home. Parents who have spent every waking hour thinking about the needs of others can feel very vulnerable and worthless after that role is taken away from them and this can sometimes lead to relationshi...

It’s all too easy to get bogged down in the hustle and bustle of daily life and lose sight of what’s important in our quest to get through each day. With World Gratitude Day just around the corner on 21st September, we take a look at how we can practise thankfulness and the benefits of doing do. Every little helps Being thankful is not just about celebrating the big successes. Gratitude is about recognising and appreciating even the smallest of things in life – like nature and changes in the weather. Throughout the day, take the time to acknowledge the little milestones and victories that you experience. Find gratitude in your challenges Thankfulness can also be found in the challenges we have faced; they have after all shaped who we are today. Even in the darkest of situations there is usually something we can be grateful for. Spending some time to review negative or difficult situations from the past can help us identify the elements of our lives that we are truly thankful for. ...

Much as we don’t like to think about it, stress can affect all of us – young and old. In today’s modern society, the pressures that we place on our children can cause them to feel overwhelmed and stressed, even though they may not know the words to accurately label their emotions. A little bit of stress is natural and can actually act as a driver to boost performance and help us build resilience. However, in young people stress can be a scary emotion to work through and the way they learn to deal with the stresses they face can affect the way they think, act and feel long into adulthood. In younger children, learning to form relationships with others and becoming less reliant on our parents can cause anxiety; for school-aged children the constant hamster wheel of school work and extra-curricular activities leaves little time for relaxation, which can be tiring and stressful. Alongside these pressures, we as parents are often under a fair amount of stress ourselves which, like i...

As adults we become well versed in dealing with the trials and tribulations that life throws our way. However, try as we might to shield them, as parents there is little we can do to protect our children from life’s ups and downs. We can however do a great deal to help prepare them and to aid their development of resilience - a quality they’ll need in order to lead a fulfilling and happy life. Raising resilient children is about providing them with the tools they'll need to respond to the issues, problems and challenges they'll face throughout their childhood and into adolescence. With news of mental health issues in children seemingly on the rise, anything we can do to help them deal with stress and promote a positive mental outlook – even when things don’t go their way – can only help them as they navigate their way into adulthood. So what do resilient children look like? They’re the ones who seem to bounce back when things don’t go to plan. They’re the children who appea...

It seems to have gone flying by, but the summer holidays are drawing to a close and the kids are going back to school. Indeed some children have already gone back. So what can you do to make the transition easier for them? Early to bed, early to rise Late nights may have been the order of the day in the holidays, but getting back to routine again can come as a real shock to the system. While children may have had the opportunity to get up late in the holidays to make up for late nights, the school day demands an early start and a clear head. Lack of sleep leads to irritability, non-compliance and hyper-sensitivity so it's important to get them back into their usual sleep pattern and routine as soon as possible. If your kids are struggling to go to bed at night after going back to school, get them outside and using their energy so they're tired and more likely to sleep earlier. The sooner you are back into the routine the easier it will be for them. Enable and empower you...

Every day our practitioners work with people dealing with anxiety, stress, anger and phobias; issues with their families, children or young people; relationship difficulties; and many other issues and problems. We asked them for their recommendations for books that may be helpful when dealing with such issues. Here are their suggestions. We will update with more books throughout the day! Books on anxiety, stress and phobias The Triune Brain in Evolution: Role in Paleocerebral Functions, 1990, by Paul D MacLean (Recommended by R. Victor Morton, Senior CBT Psychotherapist) The Mindfulness and Acceptance Workbook for Anxiety: A Guide to Breaking Free From Anxiety, Phobias, and Worry Using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, 2016, by John P. Forsyth and Georg H. Eifert (Recommended by Tasim Martin-Berg, Consultant Counselling Psychologist) Full Catastrophe Living, Revised Edition: How to cope with stress, pain and illness using mindfulness meditation, 2013, by Jon Ka...

Forgiveness is about putting aside old differences, moving beyond past grievances and starting afresh. Psychologist Bob Enright pioneered the study of forgiveness. He believes that true forgiveness is the offering of empathy, compassion and understanding (towards the person who has hurt you). Research has shown that forgiveness is linked to positive outcomes such as reduced anxiety and depression. Holding on to feelings of anger and resentment can be stressful and when we are able to let this go, our muscles relax, anxiety levels decrease, and we have more energy to focus on the more positive aspects of our lives. Forgiveness can be especially relevant in relationships, where things like betrayal and resentment can often occur. Psychologists have developed a 20-step system to move people through the phases of forgiveness, however there are also self-directed steps that can be taken to get there: 1. Write it down Let it all out. Why are you upset and who are you upset with? G...

It's International Forgiveness Day today, so we wanted to take a look at the ways in which we can practise forgiveness and the benefits that this can have on our overall wellbeing and happiness. Before we do that, let’s spend a moment to think about what happens when we don’t forgive. Like most things in life, if not cleaned up and put away, our thoughts and memories can fester and tarnish. If we don’t deal with things that are bothering us – if we don’t practise forgiveness – the only person who suffers is ourself. We become bitter and self-absorbed, our issues become part of us and this can dampen any enjoyment and happiness we would otherwise feel. Forgive for yourself, not for others We may sometimes think that by forgiving another person’s actions we are actually letting them get away with bad behaviour. The truth is, forgiveness is only beneficial to one person – and that is you! When you forgive, you give yourself permission to move on from the events and actions that...

Next week is International Friendship Week and as this article from Psychology Today says – friendship is the best medicine. We find as we get older that friends will come and go throughout the various stages of our life and that are friendships are important for many reasons, not least the fact that they help us define our priorities and steer our thoughts and behaviours in a positive direction. Another article from Psychology Today outlines 15 reasons why we need solid friendships and how they can help shape our lives and we’ve also compiled a list that will help you build friendships that will last the course of time. Be yourself True friends can see through the facade to get to the authentic person that lies beneath. Rather than try and be someone that you're not in order to make friends, concentrate on being true to yourself so that you will attract the right kind of friends that will stick with you no matter what. Put others first Lasting frien...