How to keep the spark alive in your relationship

Ah, remember the days when you and your partner first met? The butterflies in your stomach and excitement at the very thought of seeing them again. The longer our relationships go on for, the harder it can be to maintain the same level of exhilaration that we experienced when we first met. It’s not impossible though – all it takes is a bit of time and effort, along with a commitment from both of you to keep the spark alive.

We’ve already talked about the secrets of lasting love but it’s no secret that these top tips will go a long way towards helping you re-light the fire within your relationships.

Be selfless

As we grow older our interests change. Make a promise to yourself to find out what makes your partner tick and spend more time doing it with them. Remember when you first met and you’d spend hours finding out what made your partner happy? And be prepared to share more information about your current interests with your partner too. Individuals grow and evolve, don’t leave your partner out of these changes – encourage them to join you on your journey instead. Be interested; be selfless.

Check in – don’t check out

There is a temptation to put less into our relationships the more we get to know someone. We take them for granted and assume things about them, thinking that ‘they wouldn’t be interested’ or ‘they already know’. This is one of the biggest causes of relationship dissatisfaction in long-term relationships. Take the time to connect with your partner – even if it’s just for five minutes at the end of the day – speak to them as if you’d never met them before. Keeping the lines of communication open is critical to keeping the spark alive.

Go phone-free

Admit it or not, we are more tied to our electronic devices than we think. The problem with this is that it distracts us from the people who are sitting right next to us. Imagine if on your first date, you’d interrupted the conversation to look on Facebook; or had taken more interest in your phone than you had in the person you were with. Agree to go phone-free for just an hour a day and spend that hour doing something together – even if it’s just watching a TV programme or talking. Showing that you have time for someone helps to stay connected.

Remember the good old days

Reminiscing is a great way of keeping the memories alive in a relationship. Yes, people change and what was once new can begin to look tarnished, but by focusing on what brought you together can really help strengthen the ties that you have. Take a trip to an eating place you used to frequent, recreate a mini-break from your early relationship days, plans dates in the same way you would have done when you first met. Just because the relationship is older, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t actively enjoy your time together.

Try new things too

You’re never too old to learn new things – taking up a new hobby or trying something new together is as exhilarating as it is terrifying. What it will do for your relationship is provide you with a new topic of conversations and catapult you both out of your comfort zone. The more you have in common, the stronger your relationship will be. Just the thought of trying something new will get the endorphins going – and that’s great news for your relationship and summer's a great time to start!