The start back to school comes around far too quickly after the summer holidays. For many children, going back to school – or starting school – is something they take in their stride; for others, it may be a source of anxiety or confusion, especially if they started a new school or moved up from primary to secondary.
Unlike many anxieties our children experience, school-related anxieties are unique in that we often know what our children are going through. This can be a blessing; we are able to offer an understanding ear and some empathy for what our children are experiencing. However, in some cases, we as adults, pass on our own anxieties to our children, which can make it harder for them to navigate the changes they’re going through.
Now is a good time to review the back to school process and whether your child is settled or a bit anxious.
Here are some ways you can help reduce school-related anxieties.
Talk to them
Chat with your child about their school day and the year so far. How has it been? What are they enjoying most? Is there anything they’re unsure or worried about? What are their teachers like?
Show them that we’ve all been there before
Dig out old photos of you when you were at school – the happy ones, of school plays and end of term discos. Talk to your child about all the happy memories you have from school and the friends you made along the way.
Take away any unknowns
Try to find out more about the term ahead. What will your child be doing. Talk to your child about this so that they know what to expect and ask them if they have any concerns.
Find similarities between school and home life
Create positive associations with the school and the new school year - this can help to reduce the anxiety our children feel. For younger children, this might be as simple as keeping exciting stuff like colouring pencils in a school bag and taking them out when your child wants to colour at home. That way, they can start to associate school with interesting activities that they enjoy.
Prepare them for routines
School is all about routines. The more familiar your child is with routines at home, the easier it will be for them to get used to the routines at school.
Secondary school
If your child has just stepped up to secondary school, they will be experiencing additional challenges. They're expected to take responsibility for themselves in a way they never have before at school – and probably at home. However big the desire to pander to them, now’s the time to help them on their way by increasing their responsibilities at home too. Some simple ideas would be setting their alarm clock; packing their own bags for trips and outings; letting them take the bus alone to meet a relative; polishing their shoes and ironing their clothes. The more they can do for themselves, the better they’ll be able to cope with their first term.
Try and allow your child to take the lead on arranging meet ups with friends and allow them a bit more slack. However scary it may feel, you know when your child is ready to go out with friends alone. They need to get used to navigating the world alone and taking responsibility for themselves. Give them some freedom to do this, but make sure they know when to call home and give them a set time to be home, so they have a safe structure while they get used to being more responsible for themselves.
Try to keep the communication lines open with your child, whatever their age. And let them know that you're interested and happy to chat about anything they're anxious about. Make sure you attend parent's evenings so that you know how things are going from the school's perspective. That way you can help iron out any difficulties before they become unhelpful longer-term issues.
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