Tuesday 25 September 2012

I'm just not that into you – part I

If after being with your partner some time you feel their interest is waning and they just don't seem to fancy you as much as they once did. Here are some suggestions to get their interest.

Take pride in your appearance - living up to the ideal body images portrayed by the media can be hard work and pretty much impossible. However, staying in shape, maintaining good hygiene and making an effort with how you look should improve your confidence and get your partner's attention.

Take time to be friends - living with a partner is made up of three elements: practicality, friendship and sexual intimacy, which should be present in equal measure. Often the demands of everyday life, such as work and children, can leave little time for friendship which is needed for intimacy. Conversely, neglecting practical matters may leave your partner feeling disappointed and not interested in sex. Try to rebalance your home life so there is time for all three elements.

Set aside time when you prioritise your relationship. Go out every week as a couple, share the chores more, turn off your phone during time together and read books to become more creative and proficient in bed. Sex is important as oxytocin released during orgasm helps strengthen your physical bond and, in turn, your relationship.

For more advice on problems with sexual desire in relationships, look out for part II of this blog.

First Psychology Scotland has centres in the following locations:
Edinburgh: 0131-668-1440, www.edinburghtherapy.co.uk
Glasgow: 0141-404-5411, www.glasgowpsychology.co.uk
Borders: 01896-800-400, www.borderspsychology.co.uk
Aberdeen: 01224-452-848, www.aberdeenpsychology.co.uk

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