A guide to stronger relationships

Relationships inevitably have their ups and downs. If your relationship felt the strain over the festive period and things are still a little frosty, here are some tips that could help put your relationship back on track.

• Relationships take work – successful relationships don’t just happen on their own and require both parties to take a risk and share their thoughts, ideas and feelings.
• You cannot change your partner – if you are hoping in time your partner's behaviour will change then think again. All you can do is inform your partner of your needs. 
• Arguments hide your own fear or pain – when you get upset it might not be for the reason you think. You should work out what's going before you go laying the blame at your partner's door. 
• Men and women are different – by acknowledging these differences and revelling in them you can live together in a more fun and harmonious fashion. 
• Honour your partner every day – respect and cherish your partner to show your commitment to them each day. 
• Anger is destructive – it makes you inward looking and you won’t be able to see the good in anyone or anything. If you feel annoyed then it is best to take some time to cool down before discussing your problem with your partner. 
• Be best friends – it may seem unromantic but this can be the best part of enjoying time together. 
• No-one else can make you happy – you have to take responsibility for your own happiness. If you think your partner is making you unhappy then examine your own life and try to work out what is missing. 
• Give and you shall receive – e.g. if you'd like your partner to be more loving then try being more loving yourself. 

Relationships can be hard and there are no guarantees, but by being proactive you have a greater chance of making it work.

If you need to speak to a trained professional about your relationship problems, please contact your local centre:

Edinburgh: 0131-668-1440, www.edinburghtherapy.co.uk
Glasgow: 0141-404-5411, www.glasgowpsychology.co.uk 

Aberdeen: 0845-872-1780, www.aberdeenpsychology.co.uk
Borders: 01896-800-400, www.borderspsychology.co.uk