The Impact of Remorse on Mental Wellbeing

What is remorse?

Remorse is a complex and powerful emotion often experienced when we regret or feel guilt over past actions or decisions. The impact of remorse on mental wellbeing can be significant, affecting various aspects of our life including our emotional state, relationships, and overall quality of life.

A research journal published by the American Psychological Association suggests that “action-related regrets, although painful, spur people to learn from their mistakes and move on. But regret related to the inaction path – the things undone, the opportunities lost – is harder to fix. This kind of regret is more likely to lead to depression, anxiety, a sense of ‘stuckness’ and a feeling of longing over not knowing what could have been.”

The effects of remorse

Negative thoughts and emotions

One of the primary ways in which remorse impacts our mental wellbeing is through its effects on emotional health. Feelings of guilt and regret can lead to increased levels of stress, anxiety, and depression. When we experience remorse, we may constantly ruminate on past events, playing them over and over in our minds and experiencing negative emotions such as shame and self-blame. This ongoing cycle of negative thoughts and emotions can take a toll on our mental health, leading to feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness.

Damage to our relationships

Remorse can also affect our relationships with others, which in turn can have a significant impact on mental wellbeing. When we’re consumed by feelings of guilt and regret, we often start to withdraw from social interactions and isolate ourselves from loved ones. This can lead to feelings of loneliness and disconnection, further exacerbating our feelings of sadness and despair. Unresolved remorse can create barriers to building and maintaining healthy relationships, as we might struggle to trust others or open up about our feelings.

Reduces feelings of happiness

In addition to its emotional and social impacts, remorse can also affect our overall quality of life. The burden of carrying around unresolved regret can weigh heavily on us, impacting our ability to experience joy and fulfilment in daily life. Feelings of remorse can sap our energy and motivation, making it difficult to engage in activities that bring us happiness and satisfaction.

Ways to overcome remorse

• Work through negative feelings. It’s important when we’re experiencing remorse to address our feelings in order to promote mental wellbeing and emotional healing. One way to work through negative feelings is through self-reflection and introspection. By examining the root causes of our remorse and understanding why we feel the way we do, we can begin to process our emotions and work towards forgiveness and acceptance.
• Talk to trusted others. Seeking support from trusted friends, family members or mental health professionals can also be beneficial when we’re struggling with feelings of remorse. Talking about our feelings and experiences with a supportive listener can provide validation and perspective, helping us gain clarity and insight into our emotions. Therapy or counselling can also be helpful in exploring the underlying factors and developing coping strategies to address these emotions in a healthy and constructive manner.
• Practise self-care. Practising self-care activities such as meditation, exercise and mindfulness can also help us manage feelings of remorse and improve our mental wellbeing. Engaging in activities that promote relaxation and emotional healing can provide a sense of calm and balance, reducing the impact of negative emotions. Focusing on self-compassion and practising forgiveness towards ourselves can be powerful tools in promoting emotional healing.

The impact of remorse on mental wellbeing is profound and multi-faceted. It can affect emotional health, relationships, and overall quality of life, leading to increased levels of stress, anxiety, and depression.

A study on the power of remorse and apology, published in the Journal of College and Character, concluded that: “The cost of an apology is small, a loss of a bit of pride. The benefit, however, is great: it provides an individual, a leader, an organization, and even an entire country with the ability to purify and renew itself. Showing remorse for misdeeds is not a sign of cowardice or weakness. On the contrary, sincere remorse is a sign of courage and moral strength.”

It's clear that addressing our feelings in a healthy and constructive manner, through self-reflection, seeking support, and practising self-care activities has the potential to improve the lives of ourselves and others.