Ways to overcome shyness

Being shy can have a significant impact on your social and work life and can become a serious problem for many people. Shyness can lead to feeling alone and difficulty finding friends and can even result in missing out on job opportunities. Fortunately, there are steps you can take to overcome shyness and embrace your full potential.

What causes shyness?

In order to tackle shyness, you need to understand the cause. According to Steve Bressert PhD, shyness can begin at any age and can even occur in infancy. He also asserts that shyness isn’t a problem just for introverts. Extroverted people can also experience private shyness. Privately shy extroverts will portray a confident persona so much so that they appear confident in giving speeches, meeting new people and being overtly outgoing. Bressert states that there are many causes of shyness in those that are reluctant to socialise, which include:

• Physical changes in adolescence and societal reaction to these changes - especially in girls
• Modern technology and the restriction of the need for face-to-face socialising 
• Social media and it minimising the need for the same spontaneous response required in real life social situations

Shyness can also be attributed to being fearful of what others think of you. This could stem from incidents in childhood or even as an adult. Yet according to Healthline.com, there is research that suggests that up to 15% of people are actual born with the propensity for shyness.

How to overcome shyness

Don’t avoid social situationsThere’s a lot of truth in the age-old advice “fake it until you make it”. Acting confidently despite feeling insecure helps you to practice how to act in social situations. Rather than avoiding social settings, engage with them and portray the person you want to be. Actually facing your fears can make you realise that they aren’t as frightening as you imagined them to be.

Try something new

Step outside of your comfort zone and try new things. This can be joining a new club or taking up a team sport. Acting classes can be fantastic for overcoming shyness as you are free to act as somebody else and doing embarrassing things soon becomes second nature!

Be mindful

Being mindful of your feelings and emotions can help get to the bottom of why you feel shy in certain situations. Be aware of the actions you take and the environment you’re in rather than worry about what could happen. Be in the moment and notice the things you do and say. This can be helpful when you’re conversing with others because rather than being distracted by your own worries, you’ll be paying attention to what the other person is saying. 

Acknowledge your fears

Being vulnerable is one of the most frightening things any person can do. It means allowing people to see who you truly are, and this is something shy people find difficult to accept. Shyness that stems from the fear of being judged can be released once you accept yourself and allow others to see who you are. Begin with people you know and trust by being more open with them. You could find that this deepens the relationships you already have. This is also great preparation for being vulnerable with new people in new situations.