How to attract positive relationships

For some, building relationships isn’t always as easy as it may seem. We sometimes find ourselves surrounded by people who have a negative impact on our mental health and wellbeing. Without even realising it, through negative comments, gossip or exclusion, we are made to feel inadequate.

If you have started to recognise that some people in your life are draining your energy and happiness, it could be time to attract new and more positive relationships into your life.

Don’t let others dull your sparkle

When you're continually being criticised, it’s easy to start believing the negative comments. But it’s so important to remember who you are and all the great things about yourself. Unfortunately, we can’t always avoid negative people but by attracting positive relationships into our lives, we can outweigh the bad with the good. By reminding ourselves daily of our positive traits, we become less affected by comments aimed to put us down.

Project your best qualities

Do you ever feel that some people attract similar types of people as themselves? Perhaps this is because we 'reap what we sow', so to speak. If we're constantly complaining or criticising others, it’s most likely the types of people who are willing to listen are the ones who do the same themselves. If we want to attract positive relationships, we must first project positivity ourselves.

Let people hear about the things you love. By focusing your attention on what is going well in your life and by showing gratitude, not only will this rub off on others, it will rewire your own thought processes and improve your sense of wellbeing.

Avoid negativity

Although it can be difficult to walk away from negative talk, try to assess the situation and exit the conversation. For example, if you hear someone gossiping or name calling, don’t get involved and make your excuse to leave.

Bring out the best in others

Most people respond positively to compliments, which don’t always have to be based on appearances. When you admire a particular quality in someone, such as their humour, confidence or intelligence, let them know. Making someone feel good about themselves can have a positive, indirect consequence as they might, in turn, look for the positives in others too.

Learn to say 'no'

Breaking the habit of saying 'yes' can be more beneficial than you’d imagine. Although it can feel nice to be needed and, in some cases, you might think that people will like you more, it can often have the opposite effect. People pleasing can come at a price: not only can it make you unhappy because you’re doing something that you don’t really want to do, it can attract the kind of person who will only use you for their own benefit. Sometimes by saying 'no', we gain more respect from others.

Judith Orloff MD is a New York Times best-selling author and provides powerful tools that can help improve emotional and mental wellbeing. Visit her website to discover more ways of attracting positive people into your life.