How to attract positive relationships

For some, building relationships isn’t always as easy as it may seem. We sometimes find ourselves surrounded by people who have a negative impact on our mental health and wellbeing. Without even realising it, through negative comments, gossip or exclusion, we are made to feel inadequate.

If you have started to recognise that some people in your life are draining your energy and happiness, it could be time to attract new and more positive relationships into your life.

Don’t let others dull your sparkle

When you're continually being criticised, it’s easy to start believing the negative comments. But it’s so important to remember who you are and all the great things about yourself. Unfortunately, we can’t always avoid negative people but by attracting positive relationships into our lives, we can outweigh the bad with the good. By reminding ourselves daily of our positive traits, we become less affected by comments aimed to put us down.

Project your best qualities

Do you ever feel that some people attract similar types of people as themselves? Perhaps this is because we 'reap what we sow', so to speak. If we're constantly complaining or criticising others, it’s most likely the types of people who are willing to listen are the ones who do the same themselves. If we want to attract positive relationships, we must first project positivity ourselves.

Let people hear about the things you love. By focusing your attention on what is going well in your life and by showing gratitude, not only will this rub off on others, it will rewire your own thought processes and improve your sense of wellbeing.

Avoid negativity

Although it can be difficult to walk away from negative talk, try to assess the situation and exit the conversation. For example, if you hear someone gossiping or name calling, don’t get involved and make your excuse to leave.

Bring out the best in others

Most people respond positively to compliments, which don’t always have to be based on appearances. When you admire a particular quality in someone, such as their humour, confidence or intelligence, let them know. Making someone feel good about themselves can have a positive, indirect consequence as they might, in turn, look for the positives in others too.

Learn to say 'no'

Breaking the habit of saying 'yes' can be more beneficial than you’d imagine. Although it can feel nice to be needed and, in some cases, you might think that people will like you more, it can often have the opposite effect. People pleasing can come at a price: not only can it make you unhappy because you’re doing something that you don’t really want to do, it can attract the kind of person who will only use you for their own benefit. Sometimes by saying 'no', we gain more respect from others.

Judith Orloff MD is a New York Times best-selling author and provides powerful tools that can help improve emotional and mental wellbeing. Visit her website to discover more ways of attracting positive people into your life.

Ways to move forwards when you fail your exams

For many students, summer can be one of the most exciting times of the year, but for others it can also be the most daunting. Waiting for exam results can seem like an eternity because we tend to believe that the rest of our life depends on our grades. But what you must always remember is that failing your exams doesn’t have to be the end of your dreams.

With constant pressure from teachers, family members and society to gain qualifications, it’s understandable that there is a certain amount of fear connected to exams, whatever your age.

Try not to panic

If you don’t achieve the grades you were expecting in your exams, all is not lost so take some deep breaths and try not to panic. You won’t be the first or the last to fail your exams and there are always other options available.

Talk about how you’re feeling

If you have failed your exams, you'll probably experience lots of different emotions such as shame, anger, embarrassment and fear but remember there is nothing to feel embarrassed about. Don’t bottle up your feelings by hiding your results from the rest of the world, speak to someone you're close to who can comfort and reassure you. There is nothing worse than feeling hopeless and alone in this kind of situation. Hopefully your friend or family member will also be able to help you refocus your mind and guide you in taking the next steps.

Speak to your tutor

In this situation, it can be useful to discuss where you went wrong in your exams. By identifying your weaker areas, you’ll know where you need to spend more time studying. It might be that you just missed a pass grade by a couple of marks, which could give you reassurance that you are capable of passing next time around. Also, if you feel like you struggled on a particular section of the exam, request some extra guidance or tuition.

Explore your options

There will be several options available to you once you have received your exam results. Enquire about resitting the exam/s or even retaking the year again, depending on which exams you sat. If you've missed out on a university place, you could enter clearing to see if the college or university is willing to accept you onto the course with your current grades.

If you really can’t face the thought of resitting your exams, there are still alternative options on offer. Have you considered taking a gap year? Not only can this give you much-needed time for reflection, you’ll have the opportunity to do some relevant work experience to improve your knowledge and skills. You might want to take a different route altogether and apply for an apprenticeship in a different field.

Whichever direction you choose, try no to let your exam results hold you back mentally, and look forward to an exciting future.

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