Tips for building trust in your relationship; can weather affect your mood

After a cosy, family-oriented festive season, January can sometimes fall a little flat. Often the pressure of holding it all together over the holidays can impact on our personal relationships in the New Year – add to that the miserable weather and it’s easy to see why we need to spend more time nurturing our relationships with those we hold dear.

For us, January is about two things relationship-wise: taking the time to build trust with your partner and understanding the impact that the weather can have on your mood.

When there’s trust in a relationship you know that whatever bickers and squabbles the winter months bring, it won’t impact on your relationship in the longer term.

You can build trust in a number of ways:

Building boundaries

Having clear boundaries together is a crucial part of building trust. Boundaries can be about all kinds of things, including how much time you need to yourself. If you find the need to spend more time alone during the winter, be open with your partner so they know up front what your expectations are. If your partner understands why you need these boundaries in place – as well as some of the things that you’re willing to be more flexible on – it will make it easier to navigate through the difficult winter months.

Clear communication

It’s important that you’re able to talk about any worries, doubts and hopes openly, as this will help you negotiate your expectations and move forward together. If the winter months have proved difficult for you in previous years – or relationships – tell your partner, so they can understand your behaviour and minimise any impact your actions and mood will have on your relationship.

Investigate your issues

Even great relationships experience problems from time to time – that’s life! The way we deal with these issues are what sets the great relationships apart from the rest. It’s important to take time out to analyse how you’re feeling and think about how this may be influencing your behaviour. Take ownership for the part that you play in any disagreements. We’ll usually be able to see there are things we could have done better if we’re honest with ourselves. Talk about what happened and how you’re feeling and really listen to what your partner has to say.

So why exactly are the first few months of the year so problematic for some relationships? Can we really blame the weather?

Sunlight and serotonin

Serotonin is a chemical found in the human body that carries signals between nerves, contributing to wellbeing and happiness. Some scientists believe a lack of sunlight associated with rainy days can cause serotonin levels to dip – that’s why we often crave stodgy food at this time of the year. Rather than carbs though, we should be reaching for the starchy vegetables and supplements to lighten our mood during the long winter months, as well as spending as much time as possible outdoors in natural light.

Don’t be SAD

Seasonal Affective Disorder is a depressive illness caused by a lack of natural sunlight. It can leave people feeling lethargic and suffering from noticeable changes in mood. Approximately 20% of people in the UK experience some SAD symptoms, while another 8% suffer more seriously to the point that it affects their daily lives. There are two proven ways of relieving the symptoms associated with the change in the seasons. The first is natural light and the second is exercise.

More information about SAD and how to relieve the symptoms >

Rain and rage

There is also research that draws a correlation between the levels of rainfall and people’s aggressiveness. While these findings are not specific to winter rain, they found that the more it rained (especially when the rain wasn’t expected or forecast), the more aggressive people seemed to get.

So whatever the reasons for your irrational and irritable behaviour this winter, understand that the weather could be contributing – and be prepared to put the work in up front to build up your personal relationships so they’re ready to weather the storm!

More about relationship problems and ways to help >

Who needs the gym? Alternatives that will benefit both mind and body

Nearly two weeks into 2017 and it’s time to review how much headway we’re making with our resolutions…

Joining the gym is a popular resolve after the excesses of the festive period. It is a grand gesture – but one of the resolutions most likely to fall by the wayside by the end of January. There are a variety of reasons for this: going to the gym requires a change in behaviour that many of us just can’t maintain in the long term, plus we often don’t have the spare time to go once we’re back into the daily routine after the holidays. In fact, gym owners actually rely on us not maintaining our new exercise regime – that’s how they can keep prices low for everyone!

All resolutions are made with the best of intentions. Exercise keeps our bodies - and our minds - in tip-top condition, so anything we can do to increase the amount of exercise in our lives is to be applauded. However, rather than signing on the dotted line at the gym, the key to making this resolution stick is to keep things simple.

The Royal College of Psychiatrists believes that the mind can’t function properly if your body is not looked after – the reverse is also true. The state of your mind affects your body. So, if for whatever reason, you started the year with high hopes of exercising and it hasn’t quite materialised, don’t beat yourself up or you’ll end up in a vicious cycle of inactivity and low mood.

We’ve been looking at alternatives to the gym that will not only help keep your resolution alive, but also have a positive impact on your brain and your body!

The great outdoors

Outdoor exercising is not only free, but you’re more likely to stick at it. That’s because the preparation time is minimal and you’re less likely to get bored (indeed, your ‘gym’ can change according to your location and depending on your mood). You could also argue that you’ll burn more energy outside than in, due to the natural resistance provided by the wind and changing terrain.

Walking is a great way to kick start your outside exercising regime. It’s low risk and – research shows – can not only improve someone's daily positive emotions but also provide a non-pharmacological solution to serious conditions like depression.

Meditation in motion

There is evidence that shows that tai chi – the art of combining deep breathing and relaxation with slow and gentle movements – has value in treating and preventing many health problems. Originally developed as a martial art in 13th-century China, tai chi is today practised around the world as a health-promoting exercise. In fact Harvard described the practice as ‘medication in motion’.

If a formal class is not for you, it can be practised anywhere, at any time and you don’t need any equipment. This makes it an ideal addition to any exercise regime.

Say ‘yes’ to yoga

Yoga has its roots in Hindu spirituality. It involves breath control, simple meditation and the adoption of specific body postures and is widely practised for health and relaxation. Although it won’t count towards the 150 minutes of moderate activity recommended, it is an excellent way of strengthening your muscles which can help manage conditions such as arthritis and back pain.

If you’re new to yoga and would like to give it a try, do a bit of research on the type of class that would best suit your exercise needs and fitness abilities. For most beginners a hatha or vinyasa class will provide a good introduction.

Whatever activity you plump for, it’s important that you choose something you'll love – this is key to unlocking the mental benefits that exercise can deliver, alongside the physicsal benefits.

A recent study from a university in the Netherlands found that the more absorbed individuals were in their chosen activity, the greater satisfaction they felt. It is this satisfaction that leads to us keeping up with our activities – or not!

So, if you’re finding your resolution to take more exercise hard to bear, maybe it’s time to review the activities you’re doing, rather than the resolution you made on the 1st January.

Best of luck – and keep up the good work!